I'm about to save your life. You're welcome, by the way. Virginia doctors report that a man (not pictured here!) nearly died after he drank about a quart of soy sauce. Yes, soy sauce. It was a dare from friends.
Apparently overdosing on salt can be fatal, so too much soy sauce can, in theory kill you. Did you know this? I didn't! Shouldn't we put warning labels on bottles of soy sauce? Or maybe stamp this on fortune cookies: "You will live a long, happy life if you don't drink soy sauce. Lucky Numbers: 12, 21 32, 45"
Sarah Jessica Parker announced that she will have her own line of women's shoes available at Nordstrom beginning next year. Sarah, of course played a character who loved shoes on Sex & The City.
She says her pumps and flats will be from $200-$300, and she'll also introduce coats and bags priced under $700! Hey, I often carry a bag that also cost under $700. It has the name of a grocery store on it!
As the school year ends, there have been a number of stories about high school students performing end-of-the year pranks. In Chicago somebody put hot-sauce in the spaghetti. In Southern Californa somebody glued all the school doors shut.
Now, for the first time anywhere, I will confess to my own stupid pre-graduation prank. Somehow I figured out how to pick the lock on the display case where all the school trophies were kept. At lunchtime, I asked people if I could have their cups of canned peaches, and I used all those peaches to fill a cup-shaped trophy (like this one) full of canned peaches.
There was not a good point to it. I just thought people would get a little laugh when they saw that big trophy full of peaches and syrup, locked up behind the glass (Already looking for the cheap laugh. Now they pay me for this!).
My belated apologies to whichever school custodian had to clean this up. If it's any consolation, life paid me back in full when, as a yogurt store owner I spent many hours cleaning up these sort of "pranks" left by goofball punks like me!
I think Lady Gaga should team up with the Goo Goo Dolls for the first ever Gaga-GooGoo Tour! Heck, let's throw in the Go Go's too! The GagaGooGooGoGo tour!
Thought I'd give you an update on our puppy situation. We had a solid week of mourning for our little dog, and believe me, it wasn't easy. Lots of crying, and lots of questions like "will YOU die too?" We had to move all the toys, dishes, the dog crate, all that stuff out into the garage. But life has returned to dog-less normal now, and we'll start looking again.
Oh, one thing: We're going to have it fully checked over by a vet before we commit!
Lisa and I had a lengthy and passionate disagreement in the car this weekend. I sneezed, she blessed me, then I sneezed again, and she did NOT bless me! Just silence! "Hello! I've sneezed again! You are required to re-bless me!" I said.
"No," she said, "once I've blessed you, that counts for ALL the sneezes in that sneeze-group."
I say that you are required to bless someone after the LAST sneeze. I will also accept the German "gesundheit" but I think that's kind of phoning it in, and not a real blessing.
If five sneezes in a row occur, you must say "Goodness."
Anyway, I wanted to let you know that I have sneezed without a proper blessing, so from this point on, I cannot guarantee what kind of bad things will happen to me.
With June about here, I'm looking forward to seeing some summer concerts! Here are my all time favorite and least favorite concerts, and runners up!
Runner up favorite: Bob Seger
Bob hadn't performed in something like 15 years. Heck it seemed like no one had even seen him in 15 years. He came out with glasses and grey hair and reclaimed all those great old songs, with his heart in every one. Hearing the first guitar chords of "Night Moves" made everybody cry. Well, me anyway!
I saw him at the height of his 1980s "1999" and "Purple Rain" days. He was like some mad, purple lace-wearing genius-scientist conducting this crazy explosion of sight and sound. Every note was perfect, yet somehow free and uninhibited. I left that show completely drained and satisfied. I'd never seen anything like it.
Runner up least favorite: Bob Dylan
He pulled a dark, floppy hat over his eyes and mumbled and hurried through what we think were his greatest hits, but no one was sure. We had to keep asking each other "Is that "Blowin' In The Wind?" He clearly didn't want to be there.
Least favorite: Bruce Springsteen
Here's the announcement I would have like to have heard when this show started: "First, I'd like to apologize for starting 90 minutes late. I know it's a weeknight, and a lot of you need to work tomorrow. Next, I want to let you know that I'm not going to be doing any of the songs you all know and love, like 'Born To Run,' or 'Born In The USA,' or 'Hungry Heart.' I'm getting tired of all those. I'm just going to do obscure album cuts that only the die-hard fans will know and appreciate. The rest of you might as well leave now!"
It's hard to be mad at somebody I share a first name with, but I've always felt cheated by that show! Call me, Bruce, and we'll discuss!